The Real Reason why Gallifrey Was Destroyed
by Spaghetti Writer
Summary: The Doctor makes a shocking discovery about what actually destroyed his beloved Gallifrey. Rated T for mild cussing.


My First Fanfiction:

An Unusual Team: A Doctor Who-Star Wars Crossover (see what I did there?)

Note: I DO NOT OWN DOCTOR WHO OR STAR WARS. AT. ALL!

Copyright 1977-2016 Twentieth Century Fox, Disney, Lucasfilm.

Copyright 1963-2016 British Broadcasting Channel.

SOMEWHERE IN SPACE, STAR WARS GALAXY, 0 BBY

It was a peaceful, boring d,,hjokhay in outer space. Suddenly, a huge metal sphere came out of nowhere! It had a huge depression in the top, and seemed menacing and scary (or not). It was the Death Star, the Empire's new planet-destroying machine, which they were about to try out on the peaceful, Earth-like planet Alderaan.

Onboard, Grand Moff Tarkin was interrogating Princess Leia Organa on the location of the Rebel Alliance's secret base.

"I grow tired of asking this, so it will be the last time. Where is the Rebel base?" Tarkin growled at Leia.

"Dantooine. They're on Dantooine!" Leia pleaded desperately, not wanting her home Alderaan blown to bits.

"There," Tarkin said. "You see, Lord Vader? She can be reasonable. Continue with the operation. You may fire when ready." He grinned. Darth Vader sighed, frustrated.

"What?!" Leia cried, outraged.

"You are far too trusting. Dantooine is too remote to make an effective demonstration, but don't worry. We will deal with your rebel friends soon enough." Tarkin looked delighted, as if he had just been given a bag of candy.

"No!" she screamed, tears running down her face. But two stormtroopers held her back.

Tarkin leered maniacally, the red light on the console glinting off his bared teeth. "Fire."

A mechanic pressed several buttons on the console, and six beams of bright green light joined together as one infinitely powerful superlaser and shot toward the doomed planet.

The beam hurtled through space at the speed of light. But, as always, the stormtrooper operating the cannon missed the planet by um, well, a few hundred miles, and it kept going on its path through space.

Tarkin's face turned bright red with fury. "SCREW YOU, YOU STORMTROOPER!" he yelled angrily. "THE CANNON WILL TAKE TWENTY-FOUR HOURS TO RECHARGE! AGH!" He calmed down. "Oh, well. Hopefully it hits a planet on the Rebel's side."

Beside him, Leia sighed with relief.

MEANWHILE, GALLIFREY: THE TIME WAR

A FEW THOUSAND YEARS BEFORE THE START OF CIVILIZATION

On the war-torn planet of Gallifrey, war raged relentlessly. Time Lords were pitted against the evil, scheming, pizza-loving Daleks, and the war was threatening to tear the fragile, otherworldly world apart from its roots.

It was chaos. The two sides were furiously hurling clocks at each other, digital and analogue, Fitbit and Bluetooth, alarm and radio, chronometers and fob. Every now and then, a grandfather clock would soar through the air to the other side's base, and explode unrealistically in a spectacular bang. But, the Daleks are impervious to almost anything, even gunshots and regular human weapons. They fired back with their death rays, yelling "Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!" and the Time Lords yelling, "In the name of Rassilon, I order you to surrender!"

TARDISes occasionally flew over the smoky skies, with their drivers opening the doors and dropping loads of exploding Samsung Galaxy Note 7s down on the enemy base.

Meanwhile, in the corner of the Time Lord base, a person was toying with a stack of dynamite and a box of matches for no apparent reason.

His name was…The Doctor.

Then, he accidentally lit the dynamite, and it exploded at the same time the Death Star's ray hit Gallifrey (it had traveled through space and time, don't ask me how).

The next few minutes were the most confusing minutes of his life. In a hazy BOOM, the Doctor scrambled to his TARDIS.

The TARDIS was in the shape of a 1950's dull blue London police box. It was dented and scratched almost beyond repair.

The Doctor booted up the TARDIS and flew off with his titanium dog, K-9. As he drifted off into space, he watched the rubble of his home and buried his head in his hands and started to cry.

The Doctor had just caused the destruction of Gallifrey (or so it seems…DUN DUNN DUNNN! KEEP READING!).

TWENTY-FIVE YEARS LATER…

The Doctor and Rose Tyler were absentmindedly cruising through time and space when The Doctor suddenly remembered about him destroying Gallifrey.

"Y'know what, Rose? I just _cannot believe_ that I destroyed my home planet. Like, seriously. If there are any other Time Lords out there, they're gonna have it in for me, and everyone else now thinks I'm a terrorist because I destroyed a planet. I'm pretty sure I'm on the Top 5 Most Wanted Life-Forms across the Doctor Who Galaxy."

Rose sighed. "Ugh. Just stop. Do you have any idea how ANNOYING it is for you to keep ranting on and on about that? Besides, you said to me earlier that you were the sole survivor, and everyone else, Daleks and all, were KILLED! EXTERMINATED! DECIMATED! Except for the Master, of course. And the Cult of Skaro. Also, a small stack of dynamite is NOT strong enough to destroy a planet, even if it's just one bloody step away from being destroyed. That would've taken loads of the stuff. Moreover, what if it was the Death Star that destroyed your planet? It could've been, y'know."

"But the Death Star is in the Star Wars galaxy, not the Doctor Who galaxy," The Doctor protested. "And – HEY! WAIT! ROSE TYLER, YOU ARE A GENIUS! IT COULD HAVE BEEN THE DEATH STAR! Star Wars, you are in _BIG_ trouble!"

Rose smiled. Finally, The Doctor would stop getting depressed and sad at random moments in the programme and not cause viewers to cry! That truly was extremely annoying. "Okay then, let's go destroy the Death Star before the Rebels get to it!"

The Doctor held up a finger. "Wait. First I gotta ask my buddy Kylo Ren about this. He's Vader's grandson, after all."

"Fine. Isn't he the bloke with that laser sword you had a rap battle with a few weeks back?" Rose asked.

"Yes, he was. Please don't bring that up again. Those asparagus tasted HORRIBLE, and don't even _mention_ the name 'Xavier' or else I will chuck you headfirst out of the TARDIS. Not that I'd do that anyway. Whatever."

Xavier the Xenomorph had force-fed everyone steamed asparagus after the rap battle over Rose. As mentioned above, it had tasted vile and disgusting as could be. Rose also remembered, with a small giggle, when that relatively harmless vegan xenomorph had dueled The Doctor with a head of asparagus. Then, he had a karaoke competition with him (and they sang the song "Heathens" by Twenty One Pilots).

"Okay then," Rose replied. "Do what you have to do. Take us to the _Finalizer_."

The Doctor winked at her. "Allons-y! I'll get right down to it." He ran over to the TARDIS's control panel.

Once he was there, he walked around it, pulling levers, flicking switches, pushing buttons, winding cranks, and keying in commands to the GPS (Galactic Placing System). What seemed like ten minutes later, he proclaimed, "Done! We're on our way!"

From the outside, the TARDIS seemed to disappear, then reappear. Disappear, reappear. It repeated this several times while making a most peculiar (some could say annoying) _VWORP VWARP WOOSH_ sound. After it had repeated this a few times, it disappeared.

The TARDIS was uh, _finally_ on its way to the _Finalizer_.

FIVE MINUTES LATER…

The _Finalizer_ was a top-of-the-line _Resurgence_ -class Star Destroyer. From bow to stern, the equivalent of a mile, it bristled with military-grade cannons, starship-disabling ion cannons, three-hundred-sixty degree rotating gun turrets, brutally powerful seismic charge launchers, homing ventral cannons, and an extremely strong tractor beam.

On the bridge, General Hux and Kylo Ren were having an extremely heated argument about who had stolen the cookies from the cookie jar, as the stormtroopers and officers looked on, cheered and jeered, and bet on the outcome.

"I know the number of cookies in that jar by _heart_ , you idiot!" Ren snarled at Hux, flecks of foam issuing from his mouth. "So that means _YOU MUST HAVE STOLEN THE COOKIES!_ "

" _I DID NOT STEAL THE COOKIES_ ," Hux roared back furiously, his gaberwool general's hat askew on his head. " _IT WAS PHASMA! I DON'T EVEN_ _ **LIKE**_ __ _COOKIES! BACON IS SO MUCH BETTER!_ "

"Well then," Ren retorted. "That's probably true, but _WHO CARES? IT WAS YOU! AND EVEN IF IT WAS PHASMA, SHE SHOULD KNOW THAT THAT COOKIE JAR IS MINE! MINE! MINE! ALL MINE! IT'S OFF LIMITS TO ALL OF YOU! DID YOU HEAR ME CLEARLY, HUX?_ " There was a gathering puddle of vile foam at both of the people's feet.

Then, during this argument, a console on the bridge beeped. "Sir, we have an unpermitted landing in Docking Bay 93," said the officer in charge of the console.

Ren walked away from Hux and forcefully pushed aside the officer. "Lemme see." He got a description of the ship, if you could call it a ship.

It wasn't even one of those pesky little X-wings or the _Millennium Falcon_ (That would've been bad…he didn't want to put up with Rey and Chewie again).

It was a TT Type 40 Mark III TARDIS. The Doctor's TARDIS.

"Hey, The Doctor's my good friend," he said to the officer. "Give clearance for the landing. I'm going down there. I wonder what he's doing over here in the _Star Wars_ galaxy."

Five minutes later, Kylo Ren was down at the docking bay, where he stood before a blue British police box.

The Doctor stepped out, a frantic look on his face. Rose Tyler then came out.

"Hullo, mate," The Doctor said. "Nice to see you again. Listen, I have to talk to you. Now."

"What is it?" Ren asked with a note of concern in his voice.

"Something about your grandpappy and his little toy, the Death Star (Compare the Death Star to some non-human weapons). Now, we need to sit down and talk this over. It's important, trust me," The Doctor said back. "Now, allons-y! Let's be on our way."

Soon, the three people were seated in a room in the _Finalizer_ over a kettle of tea.

"So, Doctor, what's the 'important business' about my grandpa? Or is it about the Death Star, since technically it belongs to the Empire?" Ren asked.

"I have reason to believe that the Death Star's first firing destroyed Gallifrey, not Alderaan," The Doctor began. "I came here to ask for some help, since you're his grandson."

Ren hesitated. Okay, then. Here's what I know. The Death Star beam missed Alderaan by a lot, since it was being operated by a stormtrooper. Dang, those guys can't aim."

The Doctor nodded and took a sip of tea. "I want to go back in time and destroy the Death Star before the Rebels get to it."

Ren whistled. "Ooh, that's gonna be hard. Besides, how _exactly_ do you know that the Death Star destroyed your planet? Laser beams can't travel through time and space."

"Well," The Doctor said, "I remember a green beam of light crashing into the planet before it exploded."

"And – and laser beams CAN travel through time and space," Rose chimed in. "According to some law that The Doctor mentioned earlier, about anything being able to travel through time – remember that cylinder that landed during the Blitz? And those people in gas masks? – so it's got to be possible."

The Doctor winked at Rose. "Attagirl," he said. "So, we were wondering if you knew anything about the Death Star."

"Oh. Of course I do. I'm not an idiot. Follow me." Ren motioned with his finger.

The Doctor and Rose followed him to a huge room filled with maps, dioramas, and models of various things from the First Order and the Empire, including a Star Destroyer, Starkiller Base, a TIE fighter, an Imperial shuttle, and…the Death Star.

"Welcome to the Map Room," Ren said. "Here's a map of the Death Star, along with –" He coughed. "-its main reactor, also known as the weak spot."

"Yes, I know, blah, blah, blah," replied the Doctor. "Besides proton torpedoes, what can go through a ray shield?"

"Well, I'd bet that you could destroy the Death Star with your sonic screwdriver…I heard that it can do almost anything…it's like a Swiss Army knife…"

"Good idea. Thanks for the information!" The Doctor said cheerfully as he carefully took an enormous map of the Death Star's interior off the wall of the Map Room.

"Okay – WAIT! YOU CAN'T JUST TAKE A MAP AND GO! YOU'LL HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT!"

But The Doctor was already out of the Map Room and headed back to the TARDIS, with Rose awkwardly following him, her cheeks bright red.

"Well, that wasn't very helpful," Rose said to The Doctor after they were back on the TARDIS.

"Um, yes it was, Rose. Look at this map he gave me! Bloody hell, it's HUGE!" The Doctor indicated the map, which was now hastily pinned up on the TARDIS's wall by a few push pins and a wad of Blu-Tack.

"He didn't give it to you, you took it without permission! In other words, you stole it!" Rose exclaimed, frustrated. Behind her, The Doctor was powering up the TARDIS. She could tell because she heard the sound of levers being pulled, buttons being pushed, switches being flipped, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Whatever.

"We're on our way to the Death Star," he mused, "and the Empire will be ever so sorry they ever messed with me!"

A few minutes later, the TARDIS was out of the time vortex. The Doctor and Rose stepped outside, expecting to find the Death Star, but it wasn't the battle station. It was a wasteland of smoking debris and sickly yellow skies, probably left over from a war. Beside her, The Doctor paled.

"Whoopsy daisy, must have put in the wrong coordinates," he said worriedly. "We're in Skaro."

Rose gasped. This was the homeworld of the Daleks! "Well, thanks a _lot_. Sooner or later, we're bound to run into some of those Daleks, for sure."

And she was right. Soon, after a few hours of aimlessly wandering around the battle-scarred surface, the two people came across a platoon of Daleks.

Rose screamed instinctively, while The Doctor pulled out his trusty sonic screwdriver.

But before The Doctor could kill the Dalek, it spoke.

"STOP!"

"And why should I do that, blasphemous dogs?" The Doctor snarled, keeping the sonic screwdriver level at the Dalek's eyestalk.

"We need to tell you something," the Dalek said, with a hint of annoyance in its voice. "Seriously. I just wanted to say that uh…we waged war with your planet because they had a lot of pizza. We Daleks loooove pizza." The Dalek finished its sentence quite fast.

The Doctor could only stare at the Dalek. "Seriously?" The Dalek nodded (with its eyestalk, of course. If it had used its body…well, let's not even go there). "Yes, Doctor. We love pizza. Also, let's keep this personal – WE DALEKS ALSO HATE DAVROS! HE IS SUCH A HUGE JERK!"

The Doctor contemplated this. "Hmm. Interesting. Davros is a big jerk anyway. Okay, then, you verminous vermin, LEAVE before I kill you with the WRATH of my sonic screwdriver!" He powered the tool on and waved it in the Dalek's face (well, I guess I should call it an eyestalk, but whatever). It made a silly WEEOOOWEEOOOWEEEOOOWEEOOOWEEEOO noise.

"Okay, okay, fine!" said the Dalek frustratingly, indicating the direction of the TARDIS with his toilet plunger. "Go back to your blue box or whatever that phone box is."

"Fine then, dog poop. Leave. Now." He and Rose immediately began power-walking back to the TARDIS.

But, a few hours of excruciatingly exhausting walking later, the two time-travelers got another huge (and unwelcome) surprise.

The Master was standing on the TARDIS, and he had opened a panel and was toying with a few circuits. "Hello, Doctor."

The Doctor was at his wit's end. "YOU BLOODY TWIT! STOP MESSING WITH MY TARDIS!"

The Master laughed mirthlessly. "Yeah, right. And your TARDIS's chameleon circuit will be fixed." He yanked out a green wire and forcefully threw it onto the ground.

"I like my TARDIS just the way it is, thank you very much. Now. GET. OUT!" He rolled back his sleeves and put on his red-and-blue 3D glasses.

The Master was unfazed. "Go ahead. Fight me, then." He lunged at The Doctor and started to punch him. The Doctor punched back, and it became an all-out brawl. Rose decided to referee. She pulled out a whistle and a yellow card.

The Doctor and The Master were still slapping, punching, biting, and kicking at each other thirty minutes later when Rose blew her whistle and said, "Stop it already! We need to continue on the mission to destroy the Death Star!"

The Master peeled The Doctor (who was holding The Master in a headlock and chomping quite ferociously on his shoulder) off of him. He had an expression of genuine shock on his face. "That's exactly what I'm here for! My Paradox Machine also landed here, when I was trying to get to the Death Star, and I have NO IDEA why it landed on Skaro!"

The Doctor could only stare, his 3D specs askew on his face. "Okay then. You're doing the same exact thing I'm doing! Do you want to team up?" He stuck out his hand. "Truce? Pwease?"

"Truce." The Master smiled a smile of genuine friendship. "For the rest of our lives, till death do us part, blah, blah, blah! Just like old times. Now, let's go blow up the Death Star."

The Doctor stopped him. "Just a second. Promise me that you won't mess with my TARDIS, okay? If you do, I will pitch you headfirst out of it."

The Master nodded. "Okay, the, what are we waiting for? Let's go!" The Master stepped into the TARDIS, with Rose eyeing him suspiciously.

The Doctor then booted up the machine, made sure he hadn't put in the wrong coordinates, and then they were off.

Five minutes later, The Doctor announced that they were at the Death Star.

"See for yourselves," he told an unbelieving Rose and The Master. He proudly opened the door of the TARDIS with a flourish.

It wasn't the Death Star, although the three travelers could see it clearly from the TARDIS.

They were floating in the middle of space, drifting farther and farther away from the battle station by the second. If they kept at this, they'd be lost in the _Star Wars_ galaxy (and trust me, you wouldn't want that to happen, since the BBC would get really mad at Lucasfilm for losing their characters).

The Doctor got an idea. "Here! Use this to paddle through space!" He tossed a kayak paddle to The Master and one to Rose, then carefully took one out of his coat pocket for himself. "PADDLE! PADDLE, IN THE NAME OF RASSILON, JUST FRICKING PADDLE!" He started to paddle space frenetically with the paddle, leaning precariously out of the side of the TARDIS.

"Well," Rose said skeptically, holding her paddle, "I thought this was impossible in space, because blah yada blah, but whatever!" She then leaned out of the door of the TARDIS and started to paddle. The Master did the same.

It looked very odd, with two Time Lords and one human leaning out of the side of a police box in the middle of space paddling in sync with kayak paddles. Some guy in a TIE fighter who was passing by looked at them and busted out into uncontrolled laughter, which made his TIE crash into an asteroid.

After what seemed like an eternity, the three were at one of the docking bays of the Death Star.

"You have unauthorized entrance!" The stormtrooper in charge of the docking bay yelled over the intercom at them. "HANDS UP!"

The Doctor laughed. "Blasted humans can't even aim." He continued to paddle until they had landed in the docking bay. True, every shot the stormtroopers made simply bounced off the TARDIS's exterior or missed completely.

Once the TARDIS was safe in a corner of the docking bay, the three stepped out and made their way to the main reactor.

"Y'know, once the main reactor is destroyed, we'll have no time to get back to the TARDIS before the Death Star blows up," Rose said to The Doctor. "Is this a suicide mission?"

The Doctor thought about it for a minute. "Um, no. It isn't. Somehow we'll get back on time, just as they always do in those cliché action movies. Yeah. With the cool music like, playing in the background and we're looking away from the explosion." Rose looked at him skeptically.

"There's only one question," Rose said. "How are we supposed to destroy the main reactor?"

The Master pulled a stack of dynamite out of his small breast pocket. "Problem solved."

"How'd you fit that in there?" Rose said. "Seriously!"

"Time Lord science," The Master said coolly. "I ain't gonna explain nothin'."

The Doctor nodded. "Then we're all set!" He opened a random door on the side of the hallway and pulled them in. The door read: **THIS IS LIKE,** _ **TOTALLY**_ **NOT THE** **MAIN REACTOR. DO NOT OPEN THIS DOOR. DO NOT ENTER.**

"Eh, it's the main reactor." The Doctor shrugged. "Open the door!"

Inside the room was a tall, elevated tower the height of a ten-story building. On the top was a small, glowing blue crystal surrounded by caution tape.

"That's the main reactor," all right," Rose remarked, "but HOW the bloody hell are we supposed to reach that?"

"I know!" The Doctor suddenly brightened. "I should summon all the previous Doctors and the future ones too."

"Well," The Master, replied, "how the bloody hell is that possible?"

The Doctor smirked. "By reversing the polarity of the neutron flow, of course! And that is MUCH simpler than it sounds, since neutrons are neutral, BUT it means just turning the source of the neutron flow around! Hey, wait, I don't know how that would help me do what I want to do." He shrugged.

He got an idea. "I know!" The Doctor said. "Hmmm…here we go. JELLY BABIES ARE DISGUSTING! WHY DO YOU WEAR CELERY ON YOUR COAT? BOW TIES AREN'T COOL! REVERSING THE POLARITY OF THE NEUTRON FLOW IS IMPOSSIBLE! YOUR COAT LOOKS LIKE IT WAS DESIGNED BY A DRUG ADDICT! WHY ARE YOU WEARING SUNGLASSES? RECORDERS ARE SO LAST YEAR! WHY ARE YOU SO OBSESSED WITH SHINY STUFF? BANANAS ARE DISGUSTING! I BET THAT YOU DON'T EVEN DESERVE TO BE CALLED A DOCTOR!"

An enormous portal opened up from above. It boomed with lightning and stormy stuff. It just stood there for a few minutes…until a fez fell out.

"What…" Rose said, staring at the red headpiece.

The Doctor picked it up and put it on his head. "Fezzes are cool. Nah, Stetsons are better."

Then, suddenly, the portal crackled with a huge bolt of white lightning, opened up wide, and twelve men stumbled out and fell on the floor. They, presumably, were all the other (past and future) Doctors.

"That actually worked!" Rose exclaimed. "How?"

"No time to explain," said her Doctor. "Top o' the mornin' to ya, folks!"

The other twelve Doctors lined up pushily in chronological order, excluding the current one. First, there was this really old man with a fez-like hat, but it wasn't a fez. Second was a younger man with a striped recorder. Third was this old man in a cape riding a motorcycle. Fourth there was this guy with a long coat, an even longer scarf, a hat, and a white paper bag chock-full of Jelly Babies®. Fifth there was a guy with a beige-and-red coat, with a stalk of celery pinned to the lapel. Sixth there was a guy with curly red hair and an extremely conspicuous coat that looked like it was designed by a drug addict, and in his eyes shone with insane, murderous rage. Seventh there was a guy with an umbrella with a question mark as a handle, and his sweater vest was striped with question marks as well. Eighth there was this guy in Victorian-era clothing who was staring possessively at something shiny. Eighth and-a-half was another old man with a long leather coat and a war-torn face. Ninth there was this serious guy with an almost-shaved head, a leather jumper, and an open banana. Tenth is our current Doctor, with red Converse All-Stars®, a necktie, and a trench coat. Eleventh there was this tall guy in a tweed jacket, suspenders, a fez, a Stetson, and had a bowtie tied around his neck, and he was holding a mop which he was dancing the foxtrot with. Twelfth there was an old man with an electric guitar, impressive eyebrows, and sunglasses, and had a permanent scowl glued onto his face.

"Okay, then, let's get started!" The current Doctor clapped his hands happily as the Master looked on awkwardly. "We need to build a ladder, or at least a way to get up there and destroy the main reactor. I think we already have some materials we can use." He pointed at the other sonic screwdrivers and the Fourth Doctor's scarf. "Come on!"

The Fourth Doctor was hesitant. "I'm not giving you my scarf unless you can promise – _promise_ it gets back without a single loose thread." He hugged it protectively, spilling some Jelly Babies®. He picked them up from the ground and popped them in his mouth.

"Fine," The current Doctor said. He took the Fourth Doctor's scarves, the Sixth Doctor's umbrella, the Seventh Doctor's umbrella, the War Doctor's scarf, and pulled off his trench coat and necktie. He tied them all together into a long, mismatched rope which was roughly one hundred feet long. They still needed nine hundred feet of rope to climb to the top.

"Well, why can't we just use our TARDIS and teleport to the top?" asked the Second Doctor.

"Because shut up, that's why," said the Eleventh Doctor. "I do like a good challenge. Bowties are cool."

The third Doctor offered to use his motorcycle (set on the antigravity setting) to drive up there and destroy the main reactor. The current Doctor denied it.

"I do like a good challenge too. Besides, all of us should get to destroy the reactor."

The ninth Doctor waved at Rose. Rose waved back, feeling as awkward as the Master as she watched this reunion.

The current Doctor then suddenly grabbed the Eleventh Doctor's fez, Stetson, and bowtie. He untied the bowtie and tied it to the end of the rope. He ripped apart the fez and Stetson into thin strips, braided it into a rope, and tied that to the end.

The Eleventh Doctor was furious. " _GIVE ME BACK MY BOWTIE NOW! IT'S MINE! MINE! MINE!_ " he screamed, flecks of foam issuing from his mouth. He tackled the current Doctor as the original series Doctors looked on in horror and amusement, with one of them muttering, "Well, I should've known that Moffat was a bad idea just waiting to happen."

The current Doctor was triggered by his response to his efforts. "Just shut up, would ya?"

The Twelfth Doctor butted in. "Oi! That's my line! You shut up."

"I'm pretty sure this'll be long enough," the current Doctor said happily. "Everyone grab the rope and climb!"

He threw the rope. The umbrella at the top functioned as a grappling hook and caught onto the rafter. Reluctantly, all thirteen Doctors began to slowly climb up, except for the Third Doctor, who put his motorcycle on Anti-Gravity Mode and floated to the top of the tower.


End file.
